Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Hold on to your hats and glasses...

Each day may just feel like a small step, but remember that all these "small" steps add up to a lifetime at some point. Take steps that you believe in.

I stole this off of the Eat, Pray, Love Book status on Facebook today. It spoke to me. I mean, let's be real, anything associated with that book speaks to me. I realize that Elizabeth Gilbert herself (the author of Eat Pray Love) probably isn't the person who updated that status, but I'd like to imagine that she typed out that status for me to see. In fact, I'm not really sure why she didn't just tag me in it.

When I look at my life, I look at it as a group of large events. It's difficult to imagine that those large events are made up of small events that happened over the course of months, days, hours... sometimes even minutes. I forget about those small steps. I forget that at one point, in one moment, I felt like my life was over because a relationship ended. More than once, really. I mean, the real reason I'm back blogging is because I had the urge to reread those small moments of getting through a breakup. Rereading all of it makes me realize how far I've come, who I used to be, and even how emotionally involved I was in all of it. I haven't felt that kind of emotion for someone in over four years.

Take steps you believe in. Those five words are the words that really struck me from today's post.

Maybe this isn't evident, but I tend to over-think things. I know, shocker. But see, I think about the lifetime of the situation (as stated in EG's post to me that she didn't tag me in). I think about the hows and the whys and the whatifs and my brain is swimming in happenings that haven't happened but could happen, and if they happen I want to make sure I'm prepared so that I won't get hurt or make a mistake or end up in a situation that I'm not prepared for because then what...??

Yeah. That was just a peek into my brain at any given moment. In fact, it's a peek into my brain in a current situation that I'm in.

You'd think that after 33+ years (give or take a few years for not really being cognizant of my own thought processes), I'd realize that I can't predict the future and that worrying about it or trying to plan for it is ridiculous and almost impossible. But, no. I still over-think. I wouldn't be who I am if I stopped doing that. (I wonder what kinds of things I would think about if the over-thinking was just removed from my brain. I wonder if a doctor can shut off that part of my brain. I'm getting a visual. But I digress..)

Anyway, I'm over-thinking in this current situation (and I know I shouldn't), but it's not driving me away from it yet (which is what usually happens). The last five words of today's post make it manageable for me to "try" and live in the moment. One moment at a time. I just need to take steps I believe in. Break it down into the hour-by-hour, minute-by-minute, second-by-second context. Make decisions when they're necessary, try not to when they're not. I think I can (try to) do that. I think I will.

This isn't rocket science, I get it.

But welcome to my brain. You might want to think about protective gear before going any further.

1 comment:

Frits said...

Haha love the way you ended this post. The words you typed here is so true(the break up and moving on parts and living in the moment). I myself over think things and it makes things so much worse than it sometimes is! But yea keep on blogging and I will keep on reading.