Wednesday, October 28, 2009

L is for Leo

This was my horoscope today on the dashboard of my computer:

You've been subtly, but powerfully, changed. You're ready to take a chance again and you have just the person in mind for the job. Don't be afraid to make the first move. The astrological agenda at the moment is just perfectly primed to give you all the support you need to make not just a good impression, but a lasting one. Ah. Isn't love grand?

I'm not a huge astrological/horoscope type of gal. I check mine out from time to time, but mostly for shits and giggles. This one made me laugh out loud (an actual LOL) today.

Why? Because it nailed it. Completely nailed it.

Oh, horoscope gods in my computer, you better not be shittin me on that support you're promising. I will come after you if you're wrong. So you better watch your back. I'm just sayin.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

I love them, but I hafta be real

Even though Thursday's win was glorious (especially, being there to witness it), I don't think it's gonna happen for my guys this year. But one can dream, right?

Let's go Angels! (clap, clap, clapclapclap)

Irvine Lake Mud Run

My first, and definitely not last, mud run. What a good, dirty time. I can't wait til the next one in November!

After we finished. So wet and sticky and dirty.

We're such bad asses. Grrrr...

All the girls... plus T's adorable boys.

Monday, October 19, 2009

I like saying the word "exclusivity" out loud

I know.... it's been awhile. So let's update.
  • I'm sorta kinda dating someone. And by "sorta kinda," I mean totally. The thing is, we're not labeled exclusive, but we basically are. And I'm kinda ok with that. I'm not plannin on going out and dating anyone else and I'm pretty sure he's not either. Though you never know. But I'm pretty confident we're exclusive without giving the exclusivity title. Is that weird?
  • My neighbors suck ass. Since I've posted about the last late-night disturbance, I've had to call after-hours security at least 3 other times. Let's just say, one involved a hammer at 2:30am and another involved a slumber party at 2:30am. Maybe it's the time. It hits 2:30 and their internal "let's f*ck with our neighbor" clock goes off. Or maybe it's coke. Who knows. Oh, and lets not forget the neighbor who, after I spent 10 innings cheering for my Angels, shouted out his slider, "WAHOOOOOOO!!!! (clap clap clap) GODDAMN HALO FAN!" when A-Rod hit a homer to tie it up again. Which was obviously intended for me. Don't be a douche, dude. Can't a chick who lives by herself get some love? Anyone? Apartment living is amazing.
  • My kids might literally kill me this year. Or 3 of them. And believe me, that's enough to suck my will to live everyday. I can't break them. I have one kid who has been awesomely described as an "intellectual bully." He has difficulties tolerating anyone who's not as smart as him. The others just feed off his negativity. I sometimes have to hold myself back from saying, "Are you f*cking serious??"
  • I ran/walked a 5K last weekend and my time was superbly better than I had ever imagined. I gave up the long distances after I met the challenge of my halfer last year, but still like to be outside in that atmosphere. Next weekend I have my first mudrun, which will be completely awesome.
  • I totally think my friend on Survivor Samoa might have a chance at winning. I never watch that show, but found out this guy I used to want to hump super badly was going to be on it. He's doing well, and might actually have a chance. If only he'd stop being clotheslined, by clotheslines, while chasing after runaway chickens.
  • Thanks to the Angels win today (finally), I get to go to my first post season game on Thursday. Score.
Ok, now I'm just spurting out randomness. I'm boring myself.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Old, like 30

You know how people say that your 30s are so much different than your 20s? I totally never believed them, whoever "they" are. But I have to say, I've officially been in my 30s for a little bit over a year and by golly, they are right.

See, this is the thing. I've either excused myself or been excused from 3 friendships in the last year. You'd think I should feel bad about that. Possibly take an extra hard look in the mirror. And believe me, I have. That mirror and I have been besties for over a year now. But in the end, I don't care. It does not bother me that three seemingly close friends have been removed from my life. Wait, let me clarify... it does bother me in one way or another. But not enough to feel bad about the friendship being over.

Friend number 1: We had been friends for years. College friends. But now that I look back, I kinda use the term "friend" loosely. We said we were friends, we even might have said we were one of each other's best friends. But who were we kidding. Best friends don't compete with each other. Or accuse the other best friend of talking shit about her to her boyfriend. Really? Because that's how I roll? Not even close. When it comes down to it all, I was going through what I like to call the "detoxifying period" of my life. I had just gotten outta the relationship with the ex, was knee deep in therapy, and was over being treated like shit. I snapped when the last incident happened, and really never looked back.

Friend number 2: We had been friends for months. Literally. I thought this girl was the shit. She was everything I was hoping to be: bold, strong, and had a "f*ck you" attitude. At least on the outside. She was exactly what I needed in a friend at that point in my life. She always told me the truth about everything, whether I wanted to hear it or not. And I respected her for that. To be honest, I really don't know what happened to end this one, but I figure she wasn't the person I thought she was (or made her out in my head to be) if she would just drop me like she did. And boy did she.

Friend number 3: We had been friends for years. Work friends. She was what I needed at that point in my life. I was about to leave the school I worked at because the environment had become toxic. She came in and helped me love the school again. We worked as next door neighbors for about 4 years. We were two peas in a pod. But then things started happening in her life that started to bring out values that I didn't agree with. I struggled with this for a few years. I didn't want to judge her. I wanted to support her with whatever decisions she was making in her life, whether I agreed with them or not. Wasn't that what a "friend" was supposed to do? But over the years, it became difficult to respect her. And that's hard. For so long, I was fighting this battle with myself. I can't judge her, it's her life. She's going to make decisions for herself that I may not agree with, but I still have to love her as my friend. And I did. I still do. But it got to a point where I couldn't be true to who I was and still support her as a friend. We were two completely different people. I had finally decided that I was going to talk to her about how I was feeling. And I felt like I said everything I needed to say without getting immature or catty. She listened, she spoke her feelings about how what I was saying made her feel, and we kind of agreed to move on from it as friends. But who were we kidding? You can't move on from that kinda shit once it's out there. I was already moving on from that friendship, and she was growing more resentful of what I had told her. Eventually, the friendship died. It kinda stung when the ball finally dropped, but I don't feel bad about it. I actually feel like a weight has been lifted.

The thing is, I've been kinda reflecting on these "friendships" in the past week. I was talking to a good friend of mine and she was telling me that she went through this too. She described it as sort of an "inventory" of your life. You come to a point where you realize that there are certain people or things that are worth holding onto. Worth working for. And those friendships weren't worth it to me. Call me self-centered or a bitch... I just know in my heart of hearts that I'm better off without those girls in my life. I just know. And I don't feel bad for any of those friendships ending. They were wonderful additions to my life and have helped me mold a piece of who I am today, but they had their time. And their time ended when it was supposed to. The friends I have in my life right now are the friends that I know are true. I'm over being friends with someone just to have a wingman to hang out with on a Friday night. If I consider you my friend, you are someone who I feel like will be around for a really long time, if not forever. I don't have the time or the patience for bullshit anymore.

I'm freakin in my thirties.